What does it mean to be vulnerable as a man?
That is the question I want to ask at Heartmen.
I am by no means an expert on practicing vulnerability. That’s why I’m starting this project. And I hope that if I share what I learn along the way, maybe I can help you too.
Who you are, and how Heartmen can help you.
You are a man. Maybe. You could also be a woman. That’s not what is important, what is important is our experiences so far.
You grew up with many influences leading you to believe that men should not be vulnerable. Phrases like ‘boys don’t cry’, ‘harden up’ and ‘don’t be a girl’ were commonly heard.
You watched your Dad’s life revolve around his work. Maybe he played games with you a lot when you were small, but as you got older the relationship became more formal. Still loving but it lacked that intimacy of a Dad and his young child.
You knew that one day your role would be to support your family. To be the rock. To give stability. Maybe you swore to be different, but now married, with kids and bills, those choices seem out of reach.
You began to believe emotions were not a good thing. Rationality was. So you shut out a lot of ways to be vulnerable. We build mental and physical walls and shields to protect ourselves and our family. You forgot how to even be vulnerable.
And maybe that’s why you are here. It’s why I am.
Unlike many of the other sites I see for men which focus on things like picking up/dating, being an alpha male, or comparing men to women, this site isn’t going to focus on that.
That is all surface B.S. Stuff which can be faked.
What I want to talk about is bringing your heart into every aspect of your life, so you can be your most fulfilled and most successful self (however you define those words).
This site is for you if you:
- Want to work out how to connect and have stronger relationships with those around you.
- Want to bring some of your soul into the work you do.
- Feel like something is missing in your life but you’re just not sure what.
- Just want to get some clarity and express more of yourself.
Who am I?
Hi, my name is Kyle Wood.
And this is scary as hell.
The last couple of years have been really challenging for me. It seemed like the work I had done over the years before to try and be a better man (think exercise, meditation, gratefulness practice, etc) had come undone. I had put up my shields and walls to protect myself during this time.
When I was ready to make some awesome new friends and grow my business something was stopping me. It was my walls, while they did a good job protecting me at one time they were now stopping me from having the kinds of connections I desired. And I had no idea how to tear those walls down.
Until (with the help of a coach, psychologist and friends) it hit me.
The only way to start tearing down those walls was to start being a LOT more vulnerable.
In fact, every success I’ve had this year has come through a moment of being vulnerable. And I want more of that.
Which then brought up the question – How can I know when I’m being vulnerable and not just falling back on old instincts?
And that led to this project.
A little more personal stuff about me that you might want to know.
I’m married, to my amazing wife Zoe.
I’m from Melbourne, Australia but am currently residing in Portland, Oregon in the US. We’ll be moving back to Melbourne later this year.
I was (still am) a personal trainer. During my time as a trainer I worked on a fun side hustle that I call Bootcamp Ideas. This is now my full time business and allows me ‘location independence’. I still like living in one place at a time, but it is nice to be able to visit family and friends on short notice.